We all crave it. Connection shapes our experiences and our understanding of our world. And it simply thrives in the vibrant pulse of city life.
My time in London became a deeper exploration of what it means to – and how best to – connect. Each encounter, from casual coffee chat to profound pub banter (bet you never thought “profound” and “banter” could ever exist in the same sentence), wove a tapestry of connection that defined my time in this city that I’m lucky to call another home.
My approach was simple: throw spaghetti at a wall and see what sticks. It was exhausting, but enlightening. I downloaded apps (Supper Club, TimeLeft), joined Meetup groups around my hobbies (hiking, writing), followed IG accounts convening other 20-somethings in the city (run clubs, book clubs, social clubs), tried a CrossFit gym (genuinely thought I wouldn’t make it through that first class), showed up at random FB events gathering strangers (the straightforward F*ck the Small Talk), chased every FoF (Friend of Friend) thread over countless coffees… you get the picture.
Now, an aside. I began writing this piece equipped with my journal from London in hand. I had filled its pages with moment-in-time reflections from my ten-week journey. Then, one day, that journal was stolen.
Losing that – along with other belongings – was tough. I felt like part of my experience had been rudely snatched away. I gave up on writing this piece, on the whole series, even. That journal wasn’t just a beautifully bound packet of paper and ink; it was a tether to the version of myself in that transformational period, a container for the emotions, growth, and connections that had shaped me.
But over time, losing it forced a reckoning with my connection to physical objects. Those experiences and reflections didn’t disappear just because the journal did.
Connection to people and objects isn’t so different. What makes them meaningful is the way they stay with you, shaping your life in ways you probably oftentimes will never even recognize.
So, as for what I’ve learned about connection:
Successful connection requires being open, vulnerable, and present. So, for anyone open to connection in any form**, here’s what I’ve come to realize:
Optimize your proximity. Put yourself in places, both physically and emotionally, where connection is possible. You have to create the conditions for it to happen.
Follow your curiosities. It’s not about creating perfect scenarios, but about making thoughtful choices in how you spend your time and who you share it with. Connections often begin with simple curiosity– about others, about new experiences, and even about understanding yourself better.
Sit through the small talk to grab the hook. Sometimes, connection takes patience. You might have to make it through surface-level conversation, but when you see someone’s eyes light up, or feel excitement bubbling in your conversation, grab hold of it and dive in.
Cherish those small, beautiful moments. It’s often the brief, seemingly insignificant moments that leave a lasting impression and shape the journey of a relationship the most.
Cheers to the connections, physical and relational, that shape who we are.
*Note: This piece was co-authored using ChatGPT. A fun experiment - maybe I’ll write another piece on this later.
**”Open to connection in any form” is a beautiful guiding phrase coined by my dear friend Alin Clement. Let it guide you!